Dancing with the Muse

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Dancing with the Muse

Since receiving a concussion in February of 2018, I have been struggling with writer’s block and can’t dance with my muse. I’ve read several books on the subject trying to find help. They suggest that you just have to push forward, or find a new routine, or and I love this one “Just write.”

I’ve tried all of those things, but sadly none of them have really worked for me. It’s not like I don’t know how to write a book. I have over twenty novels published. Then I read a self-help book that stated the only way to reconnect with your creativity was to take care of yourself.

I had a sudden epiphany. When I wrote those first books back in 2011, I was recovering from an illness that put me into bed for about six month. I couldn’t do anything except take care of myself.

Now in 2019, I am taking care of many things: family, friends, a new house, being temporarily separated from my husband, two new puppies, and the list goes on. I worry about what the puppies are chewing on in the backyard when I’m not home. My youngest granddaughter has been diagnosed with in toeing and I worry she will need surgery. My husband has diabetes and I worry that he isn’t eating correctly. Finally, my biggest worry, will I get a book finished this year? So many worries, so little time.

But what I haven’t been doing is making myself happy. Taking time to ponder the mysteries of the universe, playing, laughing, or taking time to smell the roses.  Because all my energy is going into worrying, I haven’t had the energy to write.

Being a panster, I need time to think, dream, and visualize. My characters are trapped in a bubble I can’t seem to break. Now that I am aware of the problem of being scattered by too many worries, I am taking time to sit still and put my worries on hold. The bubble is getting thinner and I can see a few scenes coming together. I have hope and a few chapters are written.

I still don’t have a book done, but with baby steps, I can see one coming closer. I just need to remember to take care of myself, first. It seems selfish to do so, I know. Like you, I am expected to care for everyone else and put my needs last. But the creative process doesn’t allow it. You cannot dream up new worlds and new people unless you focus within.

So if you can’t seem to find your muse to dance with and create, I suggest you take the time to be yourself. The you that likes to play, sing, dance, and dream. Keep at it and those worlds will start to come closer and those characters will begin to whisper in your ear. Then the magic can happen and the words will appear on the page.  How do you take care of yourself so you can dance with your muse?

Friday the 13th

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You never know what the Universe is going to throw at you. In my case, a brick wall, literally. In truth it was more like I was thrown at the wall. I fell and hit my head. A quick trip to the emergency room and a CAT scan later and the diagnosis was “A concussion”.

I’ve never researched concussions before. I had no idea that you should stay in a dark room and limit all stimulation for ten days or that you shouldn’t use anything with a screen.

Even now, six weeks later, I have problems with screens and getting over stimulated. My whole life has been put on hold, so my brain can recover. I’m happy to say, that I am better, but not well.

To my fans, who are expecting a book out this month, it’s been pushed back. I’m not sure exactly when “Katya” will be coming out, but I hope before summer is done.

I’m learning to be patient with my limitations and myself. I hope you can be patient with me as well.

If you are so moved, I am open to all prayers and healing thoughts as I recover.

Until next time,

Caryn

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Katya

Book One of the Volkov Family Chronicles

Katya Volkov is all grown-up and working in New York City. She has the unfortunate title of “Ice Princess” because she can’t get past friendship with a man. The only one she ever loved, Illarion Lebedev, left Siberia when she was sixteen and she hasn’t seen him since. Unwilling to return to Russia and a life in a pack where women are expected to mate and have babies, preferably girls. She has worked hard for the last four years at Sunrise Advertising. Now a vice-president, she’s finally accomplished a level of success she’s comfortable with. But what does success really mean when you’re all alone at the top?

Illarion Lebedev has secretly watched over Katya since she was in college. He’s proud of her accomplishments. Now that his plans are coming together and he’s the new CEO of Sunrise Advertising, he’s ready to finally claim his mate. But wooing the “Ice Princess” will take more than his good looks and social position. It will take a love strong enough to thaw her wounded heart.